Why Can't We Just Admit It?

And then the last falling star came

Millions of years, etching like fire in stone against the black sky

Fell through the atmosphere and i saw it in my window

The last wish

No more pain

why am i even making a post? no one reads these anymore. i guess blogs are the new thing.

anyways here i go:

so im taking this next sememster off from scc. i'll start ucf in the summer. even though i broke up with my gf i want another girl.

girls are too much. you have to tell them they're beautiful and they don't believe you, they like to be in control, which is good and bad.

Can't live with them, Can't live with them. lol.

i've been finishing up research for my book. the stats are pretty creep like 1 in some gadzillion-thousand writers get published. But eh, who cares. 99% don't ever finish a book. It's funny i started writing in my sophmore year with writing for hollywood as my ultimate goal. I guess that's still it. Did you guys ever notice most of the writers out there are weird? They're downright creepy. Like that movie that's coming out "Running With Scissors". That dude is CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZY. I saw an interview with him.

I guess if i could make an application for a girlfriend, (I'm not very picky) this would be it:

1. Dark/Black hair. Why? It's always turned me on.
2. Sarcastic. I want a girl that's going to put me on my place.
3. Knows how to cook. (Sorry yall i know 99.98% out there don't know how, at least a girl that's willing to learn.) Old fashioned? You better bet your buttons on it.
4. Has a beautiful smile.
5. Artsy
6. Knows what's going on in the world
7. Is not afraid to hold my hand in public
8. Likes to travel
9. Likes to read
10. Has pretty nails
11. Sense of style
12. Funny
13. has aspirations/goals
14. Does my laundry. Nah im just joking. Takes off my laundry, ;)



peace

i broke up with my gf. were over. long story. i'm the good guy, thats all i feel like talking about right now.




On a different note:

this girl keeps popping into my head from a year ago. I should just let her go.
Why the hell are you in my head? We didn't even go out.

Anyways.

Daniel is going off to UF. He's moving there tonight.

I'll be at UCF.

I've decided to study cultural anthropology, because it fascinates me how different people act because of their cultures and how they were raised.

Anthropology = $$$ ?
No. But it's just a bachelors, im going to medical school so you have to pick a bachelors, this is was the only one i would really like to do.


good night. happy new years.

my girlfriend had to do community service at a nursing home. They made her guard the exit door, so no residents would be wandering around.



my gf: (11:16:24 PM): hey u wanna know something scary that happened at the nursing home?
your dairy man (11:16:28 PM): yeah
your dairy man (11:16:29 PM): tell me

my gf: (11:17:33 PM): well.......after a couple of minutes I just started to guard the exit and help around.....this old lady went up to me.....
my gf (11:18:39 PM): she started to speak spanish with me .......and I never told anyone I was spanish or anything....i mean how did she know....well anyways.....she started telling me...
my gf: (11:20:21 PM): that she knew me from ver little.....and I told her that I didn't know her......but she kept insisting....and then she mentioned my dead grandmothers name.......and then she told me that she knew i had a boyfriend and how good it is to be in love n stuff....
my gf:(11:21:19 PM): i couldn't continue talking to her......she was acting crazy.....and I just couldn't hol my tears.......I mean how did she know all that stuff


That's crazy, my girlfriend doesn't look spanish and she doesn't have an accent.

and her grandma has an uncommon name.

Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
There's nothing you can do that can't be done.
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung.
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game
It's easy.
There's nothing you can make that can't be made.
No one you can save that can't be saved.
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be in time
It's easy.

All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.

There's nothing you can know that isn't known.
Nothing you can see that isn't shown.
Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be.
It's easy.

All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
All you need is love (all together now)
All you need is love (everybody)
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.

Love horoscope Aries


(21 March - 20 April)

Aries is ready for love and sex even being very young, too young for the society to permit it, that’s why Aries usually has problems with parents in adolescence.

Sometimes conflicts may be extremely sharp, as an Aries boy will break any social law to fulfill his first desire.

An Aries girl will be an unconscious teaser and will cause serious troubles for herself.

Love horoscope Aries states that this sign tend to love from the first sight in every age. If they get infatuated, nothing will stand up against this passion. A forbidden fruit attracts Aries greatly and he is eager to get it at all costs. But when Aries is head over heels in love with someone, he is ready to give himself for the passion.

Aries is warm-hearted but reasonable and calculating. Love horoscope Aries warns that when being rejected, a passion of this sign will turn into obsession, young pride and anger, or even a murder. But, on the other hand, Aries calm down quickly.

Any beautiful adventure or temptation incites Aries to change his life.

He is impulsive, impetuous and may be slightly naïve.

Love of Aries is touching but, like a naughty child, he expects his caprices to be fulfilled. Like children, they like to boast and like to be “greeted with applause”.

There is something showy in a man and a woman also likes to demonstrate her advantages. They may be deeply attached but not for a long time. When getting bored, they give up everything and disappear.

An Aries man has something from a cave-dweller. He wishes to control the woman’s behavior and to satisfy his sexual desires at all costs. A more developed and cultivated man aspires to be a hero in the eyes of his beloved and is dreaming of proving how much he loves in a real action.

He is irritated when his urge towards an ideal is being limited somehow and when he doesn’t have enough freedom to put his ambitions into life. Íe may loose his temper for a while and in that case his life will be greatly complicated. Love horoscope Aries explains that being adored and admired by someone is of vital importance for this sign, otherwise he begins to worry about himself.

An Aries woman needs to satisfy immediately her desires. She can’t control her wishes. She breaks up with a man if he doesn’t satisfy her. In case he does, she can be absolutely caring and faithful.

Love horoscope Aries foresees a dilemma: whether to compete or to cooperate. An Aries woman prefers to dominate in the relationship, she can obey only a more intellectual and developed partner.

In that case she can be a wonderful lover, whose caprices are neglected because they are temporal.

Love horoscope Aries avows that marriage is quite a difficult thing for this sign, much more difficult than for others. You should be patience to keep a marriage safe. Enthusiasm of Aries should be respected and his energy should be carefully directed into the right way.

Love horoscope Aries suggests avoiding Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces in marriage and friendship. You should be looking for Libra, Sagittarius and Leo




do i believe in the stars? i dunno. this rings sickly true about me.

The Bad News:


things at home are going to helllllllllll i wanna move out. maybe i will.




The Good News:


It took her out to Vivonnas the italian dine in place by the sanford seminole community college. We had alot of fun.





If I told you a secret
You won't tell a soul
Will you hold it and keep it alive
Cause it's burning a hole
And I can't get to sleep
And I can't live alone in this lie

So look up
Take it away
Don't look da-da-da- down the mountain

If the world isn't turning
Your heart won't return
Anyone, anything, anyhow

So take me don't leave me
Take me don't leave me
Baby, love will come through it's just waiting for you

Well I stand at the crossroads
Of highroads and lowroads
And I got a feeling it's right

If it's real what I'm feeling
There's no makebelieving
The sound of the wings of the flight of a dove

Take it away
Don't look da-da-da down the mountain
If the world isn't turning
Your heart won't return anyone anything anyhow...

So take me don't leave me
Take me don't leave me
Baby, love will come through it's just waiting for you

So look up
Take it away
Don't look da-da-da- down

If the world isn't turning
Your heart won't return anyone anything anyhow...

So take me don't leave me
Take me don't leave me
Baby, love will come through it's just waiting for you

Love will come through
Love will come through
Love will come through

Sundance Kid: Well, I think I'll get saddled up and go looking for a woman.
Butch Cassidy: Good hunting.
Sundance Kid: Shouldn't take more than a couple of days. I'm not picky. As long as she's smart, pretty, and sweet, and gentle, and tender, and refined, and lovely, and carefree ...

Sitting alone in the dark of a stadium
He whispers his secrets into a cheap guitar
With the flick of his wrist he turns words into melodies
Chords into church bells, fill up the allies
Lovers intwine in the heat of the night
And by dawn are apart in the shivering silences
We will pretend
That its all just made up

The songs that he writes
Are too personal
He cant play them for anyone

When hes all alone, the lovesong writer sings
Ooooh
Can anyone, hear me now?
No one hears him now
So he stumbles through syllables, cut from their sentences
Lost letters call to him, deep in the alphabet
"Please give us meaning"

Pose for me now
You're the broken heart
You're the sigh in the back of the throat
And on the other side
You're the queen of spades
You're the sound that she makes on her way

Theres always a way out
Theres always a way out

When hes all alone, the lovesong writer sings
Ooooh
Can anyone, hear me now?
But no one hears at all
The lovesong writer sits all alone
When he hears the sound of the knock at the door

50 red roses, falling apart
In the hands of someone that you scraped in and left behind
All of the others strolled up and showed up at your door
Staring you down, they said:

Sing for me, sing for me, sing for me now
Sing for me, sing for me, sing for me now
We already are

"Music is about listening, the more you play, the more the magic spreads. For me, life is writing and I can do it anywhere. It doesn't matter where I am. I listen. I write. I live. And if you don't live, you have nothing to write about. "

-Maynard

i've only gotten in half an hour of writing. So yea 5 days left to get 9.5 hours in. I'm going to do it.


hemingway said its taboo to write about what you're writing, but screw it.


so im writing a horror.

when i started writing, my junior year of highschool, i was all into that, writing horrors. I guess alot of beginning writers are like that. So i drifted away from that, but when i started this story, something took a hold of me--i have to finish it.

I'm not into horror, but lets see if can make this beast come alive...


wanna excerpt?

you bet



“Have you seen this person?”
The officer handed him a black and white photograph, a picture of woman hanging on the back of what looked like to Camden like her boyfriend or husband.
“Who’s that? Husband?”
“Yes. He reported her missing yesterday afternoon. We found her phone in the garbage can in the laundrymat.”
“Look just because we share the damn cleaners together does not mean I know her. "
The officer raised a zip lock bag, swinging it in front of Camden’s eyes. Inside, pieces of the cell phone, he could see little green electronic boards, and lining the bottom--were the phone keys.
“Someone did this, this isn‘t a simple case of a wife running away. Something happened.”
Camden shrugged his shoulders. He was tired.
“You have a friend, Jamal? Is that the name?” the officer asked





good night. sweat dreams ;)

i have an appointment with the sandman

I have two new resolutions:


1. I've been a real prick to some people at scc, even though they may deserve it, im going to try to change. I feel bad.

2. I'm going to try to clock in around 10 hours of writing time each week.

everybody download "deep sleeper" by As Tall As Lions


i think its one of the best songs i've heard in a while

angels on the sideline
puzzled and amused
why did Father give these humans free will?
now they're all confused

don't these talking monkeys know that Eden has enough to go around?
plenty in this holy garden, silly old monkeys
well there's one you're bound to divide it
right in two

angels on the sideline
baffled and confused
father blessed them all with reason
and this is what they choose
monkey killing monkey killing monkey
over pieces of the ground

silly monkeys given thumbs
they forge a blade
and then theres one bound to divide it
right in two
right in two

monkey killing monkey killing monkey
over pieces of the ground
silly monkeys give them thumbs
they make a club
and beat their brother down
how they survive so misguided is a mystery
repugnant, is the creature who would squander the ability, to lift an eye to heaven, coscience of his fleeting time here.

brothers sleep inside here

cut it all right in two
cut it all right in two
cut it all right in two
cut it all right in two

fight over the clouds, over wind, over sky
fight over life, over blood, over air
fight over love, over sun, over another
fight each other, over

angels on the sideline again
been so long with patience and reason
angels on the sideline again
wondering when this tug of war will end

cut it all right in two
cut it all right in two
cut it all right in two
right in two
right in two

one of my friends died. Its weird.
you can't get that thought through your head, just going through your daily emotions, you expect to wake up every day, you kind of start feeling that you'll never die, that you're immortal.

Someone dying, its weird. just ceizing to exist. Makes you believe in God.


i have to get a 56 or higher on the final in biology to keep my A
i have to get a 46 or higher in Calculus on the final to keep my A
:)

I'm falling again.


I haven't noticed, but taking these science classes does something to me. It takes my mind off of my feelings, where all you do all day is take exact values of everything, there is no in between, no gray area, everything happens for reasons that aren't hard to figure out.



And every feeling i've fought through is creeping back up. And I'm second guessing myself, and everything is going to go to hell as;dlgkajsdg;lkasdhng;alsdhk



But i guess that's good. Because I'll have to start writing to keep myself sane. Or playing music, but that's worn out it's stay.




Why do i write? To escape.





Why are so many writers fucked up.

(musicians included)


the one thing about writing i love though---------------is---------------it makes you understand people.

No. Really really understand them.
Because when you write, especially with dialogue, you have to put yourself in all of your characters heads at the same time. You have to come to it with different feelings for each one, recognize where each person is coming from blah blah blah blah

well, ive noticed when i really dedicate myself for long periods of time, really concentrate on writing, i notice subtle things about people.

I can tell what they're thinking, and not just that, but that your responses come quicker to you. When you write dialogue, and when you get through a thousand lines, you start forming the sentences/replies before they appear on paper. And it just helps you, to become better at talking and connecting with people.

FOR THE RECORD, the music that has been "leaked" and is playing on your stereos and computers is indeed, NOT the official 10,000 Days album. I will not say, however, what it is or where it came from. What I can tell you is it came from a 100% reliable source. I can also tell you that the Pending 10,000 Days cover which you've seen has 2 VERY important details that clearly state this fact... We're disappointed that you would think these fine musicians would neglect 5 years of work to allow a leak on the internet. Oh and one more thing, the album may not even be called 10,000 Days.... Just a thought for some of you to chew on....




from a forum on blogcritics.org.

"...Days cover which you've seen has 2 VERY important details that clearly state this fact.."


i figured one of the facts out. look the word Tool looks like FOOL.

look:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000EULJLU/ref=pd_ts_m_3/102-6992607-4101703?s=music&v=glance&n=5174




I hope the album is a fake, cuz i have the leak, and there's only like 2 good songs on it. :(

Me and Daniel took a trip to UF yesterday.

We spent the whole day on campus and it was amazing, i think that's definetely where im going to go after scc. (one more year)


They had an open house for the life and agricultural sciences program. Many premed undergrads get there degree from there + scc offers a scholarship to go there. I'm probably going to get something in either in nutrition or geomatics.

http://www.ifas.ufl.edu/

But no way in hell im doing anything with the word "agriculture" involved.


So we went to the open house, and each degree had tables set up, with students you could talk to. We went up to the nutrition table, and there were like 5 girls standing around.

They were so horny.

There was a nerdy looking girl, and she told us she designed the shirts that were selling on the table.
One of the other girls, said, "My design, got rejected" and i felt bad for her.
So Dan turns around and says to the nerdy girl, "Oh yea? How does it feel to design a shirt that ends up selling for five bucks?" And all the girls starting laughing at her. It was so wrong and so funny.